All The Sweet Green Icing
by BlackOpal
Summary: Christian bakes a cake for Satine. Christian's an awful cook, Satine tosses it out the window. It wouldn't be so bad if Christian had the reciepe and the sweet green icing wasn't rolling down...


Disclaimer: Satine and Christian are Baz's. The awful song belongs to my adoration, Richard Harris, whom I adore and admire in every way. He just went wrong with MacArthur Park, (that's the title of this song).

Both Christian and Satine were in his garret and staring at the cake Christian had just made.

It was a revolting cake. It really was. But Christian seemed to think it was perfect, and Satine couldn't bring herself to tell him what she really thought of it.

"Look how beautiful it seems, darling. See the curves? And imagine the taste! I think I shall call it… MacArthur Park!" He was utterly delighted with the cake.

"MacArthur Park? Where'd you come up with a name like that?"

"You don't like it?" He asked her. "I love it, it fits the cake so perfectly."

Satine nodded, "Whatever you say darling."

The weather outside was dark, rainy and freezing and the frosty air seeped in through the cracks of his garret. Satine buried herself under the threadbare blanket. It wasn't much. It was thin and it barely kept out the cold.

Satine hated the cold.

She hated wind, snow, winter… anything that made her cold.

"I wish it was spring." Satine said, wrapping the blanket tighter around her in hopes to make herself warmer.

Christian laughed. He was wearing cotton pants and a cotton shirt. He wasn't cold; he was perfectly comfortable in the winter air. 

He and his perfectly warm self, walked towards Satine.

"Spring was never waiting for us, girl. It ran one step ahead. As we followed in the dance" He sang. He was horribly off key but Satine couldn't tell it that was intended or not. Christian was on the bed, poised to grab her arms.

"Stay away from me Christian!" Satine warned. She had horrible thoughts about him grabbed her and whisking her away to a dance. 

He lunged forward and swept her off the bed, leading her into what would be an awesome dance if Satine had been dancing with him that is. 

He continued to sing, holding a very pissed off Satine in his arms. "Between the parted pages and were pressed, in love's hot, fevered iron, like a striped pair of pants."

It took all of Satine's control not to burst out laughing, she ran over to the ledge of the window, hiding her face from Christian's. 

That was one stupid line.

Christian grabbed her waist, startling her. She jumped and knocked the cake off the windowsill.

They both watched it fall; Satine with what looked to be an amused and happy face and Christian with a stunned look.

Then suddenly… "MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark, all the sweet, green icing flowing down..." Christian was singing that stupid song again. "Someone left the cake out in the rain." Satine objected.

"I did not 'leave it out in the rain'. I pushed it off the ledge." Satine said, refusing to give into the strong arms that were wrapped around her stomach.

"I don't think that I can take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it. And I'll never have that recipe again! Oh, no!" Christian sang. He didn't seem to be to bummed about loosing his cake.

"How'd you know about me throwing out the recipe?" Satine asked suspiciously.

She took the recipe from his book being so careful as to not to be seen. Apparently, she wasn't as careful as she had thought.

He shrugged and continued with the song. "I recall the yellow cotton dress, foaming like a wave, on the ground around your knees." They were talking about dresses now? What happened to the cake? "The birds, like tender babies in your hands, and the old men playing checkers by the trees."

'Maybe he's trying to romanticize me.' She thought to herself as she endured another verse to this painful song.

"MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark, all the sweet, green icing flowing down!" Satine groaned and tossed her thin, pale arms into the air. She was sick of the chorus already and this was only the second time.

"Christian, please... stop?"

"Someone left the cake out in the rain." It wasn't raining anymore. Oh no, now it was snowing. Satine whimpered and once again she retreated back to the sinking mattress to hide from the cold. "I don't think that I can take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it. And I'll never have that recipe again, oh, no!"

Satine weighed the pros and cons of jumping out of the window. On the one hand, it was freezing cold outside. On the other, if Satine had to sit through another torturing verse with Christian off key, she just might have to. 

"There will be another song for me, for I will sing it!" 

"Well of course darling," Satine said as the love of her life gasped for breath. "This song is so not you."

There will be another dream for me. Someone will bring it."

"And here I am!" Satine struck a Vogue pose. "In living flesh, your brought dream!"

Christian stopped his melody to look at her. "You're ruining my song." He said quite frankly as he looked into her eyes.

Satine giggled. "It's already ruined."

"I will drink the wine while it is warm." Satine's eyes grew round at the mention of wine, she was a Parisian after all. "And never let you catch me looking at the sun."

"Well that's good, because you know- you looking at the sun... total turn off." Satine said from under the pillow. She was trying to stuff it in her ears but it was to big damn it!  
Christian made his was slowly to the bed. His arm snaked around Satine and Satine, thinking he had stopped singing, let go of the pillow. "And after all the loves of my life," Satine screamed, HE WASN'T DONE! She pulled the pillow back over her red curls and clamped down one it harder. Maybe, if it was tight enough she could suffocate! "After all the loves of my life, you'll still be the one." Satine smiled, at least she was in there someone in this song. She loosened her grip on the pillow. Maybe this song wasn't that bad.

"I will take my life into my hands and I will use it. I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it. I will have the things that I desire." Now this was just pathetic. How long did this damn song have to be? Satine was about to take Christian's life into _her_ own hands and it wasn't going to be pretty. "And my passion flow like rivers through the sky. And after all the loves of my life," Once again, the song's about her. Would he make up his mind? "After all the loves of my life, I'll be thinking of you and wondering why." Christian kneeled in for a kiss. A KISS! After the hell he was putting her though, he wanted a kiss. Well... he was trying to romanticize her. And he looked so cute... could one kiss really hurt? She leaned closer, savoring his sweet breath.

"MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark. All the sweet, green icing flowing down... someone left the cake out in the rain." Satine slapped him, leaving a red mark across his face. She hated this damn song. But did Christian care? Nope.

No, now Christian, the love of her life was shuffling-off-the-buffalo across the room. It was horrifying, you see he didn't even know the move. Satine moved to show him the right way to do it but when her foot touched the freezing floorboards, she cringed. Maybe not.

"I don't think that I can take it- 'cause it took so long to bake it and I'll never have that recipe again. Oh, no! Oh, no. No, no!" Satine had had enough.

"Screw the cold!" And with that she threw back the covers, grabbed her coat and was out the door just as Christian sung his last 'Oh no'.

Satine never wanted to eat another cake again.  



End file.
